The Beginning of the End

 Is this it, is this the last time?  Reality says "yes,"  my hope says "well...maybe."  Mom wants to go to Puerto Rico.  She has always talked about going with Lilly, it just didn't ever happen.  Lilly is almost an adult now, well technically she already is at 20 years old.  She can make her own decisions about going, and her decision was a yes.  

Mom's still in the fight, but the uphill battle against cancer is getting steeper and steeper.  Every day she loses some small aspect of her independence.  Sometimes she is fine with it, other times she acts out.  I have to remind myself that she is in the process of losing and letting go, it helps me tap into more patience and correct my own attitude.  We leave in 2 weeks, all but one of us.  Travis is not going.  Mom always said he wasn't interested in going, but I asked anyway.  Cris and her crew will just stay for 4 days.  Art, Mom and I will stay for a whole week.  ALL the medical equipment is going with us.  I have to admit that there is a thought in my head about whether we will make it back.  What if we get there and she suddenly declines?  Finishing her days on the island she began them on isn't the worst thing that could happen, it could be a blessing for her.  I will just be very hard for me and Art...possible just me if he needs to come back.  But that is all in the Lord's hands, He knows the day and the time, and I trust Him with it all.   

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